Cryer

UGH!

I've always been a bit of a push over. Always.

I don't remember a time when I wasn't. In elementary I was bullied by girls so badly that to this day I have vivid memories of sitting at my little desk with my little head in my little hands and crying in front of everyone.

That was why I was bullied. I was a cryer.

I didn't cry over everything, but when someone was being mean I just couldn't control myself. I would get so upset and instantly cry.

I hate that about myself. I always have. I used to fight with my parents and I would be furious about something (probably being told to do something I didn't want to) and just wanted to show them how 'grown up' and 'mature' I was by standing my ground and not cry, but it never worked. I always cried (and I rarely won the fight).

These days I'm not really any different. I don't often fight with my parents, but when I do the second I get defensive or mad, I have to grind my teeth because the tears are coming.

I'm learning more and more now, as I grow up, that being overly sensitive and being a cryer is not something that will help me in this life. I don't want to be cynical and I definitely don't want to be a hard *ss, but I have to learn the healthy medium. It's hard. What is the healthy medium? How do you know?

I'm learning, very slowly.