It's my party...

Hi everybody,

I hope everybody's having a great day, but then again how could you not? It's the day after my birthday! Yep, 22 years ago yesterday I was born and boy have those year gone by fast. I was thinking about it yesterday and realized that time really has seemed to speed up in the last few years. School's busy, work's busy, life's busy.

Anyway today I'm feeling a little nostalgic and want to talk about some people that I'm missing today.

As I've gotten older I've started to realize what the important things are in life. Gone are the days that Christmas and birthdays are about presents, that Remembrance Day is a day off school, and Thanksgiving is a day too eat too much and go to bed early. I try - and most of the time am successful - to look at holidays and occasions for what they are and yesterday was no exception.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night after having a nightmare about my grandpa. He passed away almost two years ago, but every now and then I have a dream that he's back and I feel so happy and grateful to have him back, but by the end of the dream he always goes away again. Every time I have this nightmare I wake up sad, confused, and a little bit angry. Today was no exception, except today I started to remember all the years we had together and that lead me to think about my Baba and my other grandpa who have all passed.

I realize now that I'm older that having things is nothing compared to having people to share your things with. Of course, I've always known this, but as I've gotten older I've realized more and more just how true it is. I realized yesterday that what I really wanted for my birthday was to hear my Baba sing "happy birthday" and then joke about her awful singing voice just one more time (I always liked how she sang that song). What I really wanted was for my grandpa to ask me "how old are you now? 29?" and then we would laugh and talk about just how young I really am just one more time. I wanted to see my gramp sit at his spot at our kitchen table, drinking his coffee and eating his cake, and talk with him about everything and anything, because I always could just one more time.

I'm so lucky for the time that I had with each of them and I would never give up that time for anything in the world, but this year on my birthday I would've given up everything that I got just to have them do those little things one more time.

Have a nice week everyone
  M